Listen Hear

by Rob Llewellyn

I interviewed someone on the phone this morning for a three month contract in Spain. The rate was EUR 1100 per day and the position was business management focused. My candidate was a very experienced guy with an incredibly impessive CV. He was articulate, confident and knowledgable. HOWEVER, despite being a EUR 1k+ a day consultant, he failed dismally in the all important area of ‘listening’.

Not only did he constantly interupt me, but he just didn’t know when to shut up. It was clear that this person was focused only upon getting across what he wanted to say. I wasn’t impressed and he won’t get to speak to the client.

We all know people like this. Often they are the smart-arse who believe the more they talk about something, the more they will impress. What they often don’t seem to realise is that not only do they get on peoples’ nerves but they are not “communicating with” – they’re just “talking at”. We might be guilty of this ourselves.

I’ve written about this subject in my weekly messages on projects and programmes and it’s one which is at the heart of Communication skills and very much part of Emotional Intelligence.

Listening is one step further than merely hearing and it’s a known fact that our effectiveness at work and in our personal lives hinges hugely not only on our ability to listen, but on our ability to listen for the true meaning of what people say. I could get really deep here, but there’s no need to. Because if most people simply talked less and listened more, both they and their colleagues or partners would benefit enormously.

I’ve watched people try to apply this to themselves, but you can see them biting their tongue and building up what they want to say next, as if they’re really listening. But that is not enough, because all they are doing is pretending to listen.

Dr Elton Mayo said; “One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider our problems, can change our whole outlook on the world“.

There are plenty of good books and Internet resources on this subject. Here’s just one.